Sneakerheads Gifts

Patent Office. A credit card chip embedded in sneakers? How would you make a purchase? Swipe your feet!

'We live in a designer trainer.'

'Eat your heart out, Firefly! -- I've got sneakers that light up!'

"Remember me? I'm your running shoes. Remember what running is?"

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

'Top of the line sport shoes: They've improved my top speed by 0.5 kmh...'

it's back to school time, Frank. I think I have everything I need. I have a new backpack, pens, pencils, erasers, notebooks and, of course, a mask. We don't need those anymore. Speak for yourself. Zzzzzzz.

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

"Wait, I'll go down with you. I'm just changing back into my rubber-soled actionwear."

Thunk! Teddy! Pick them up! They're toxic to all living things! Ok. Ok. But you don't have to exaggerate. Regrettably � I'm not.

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

'The meaning of life is to get a nice sneaker contract.'

Running shoes? You have the wrong idea about "fasting," Brother Ernest!

"Do you have a shoe for roaming and prowling?"

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

'... And for $50 more, this is the same basketball shoe in a turbo model.'

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

"Would you like something by an over promoted high-price athlete or a nobody from Jersey?"

Actually, the Sandman's little brother, 'Boulder Boy' could get people asleep a whole lot quicker.

Casting out the Shoe Devil.

Early Night Club

You shouldn't sell any chemical lawn products, dad! I only carry a few for the bottom line. You peddle poison for profits? The new sneakers you want aren't cheap, kiddo. Then I won't get the shoes. Ok, ok. I'll consider getting rid of the chemicals. Who knew reducing my carbon footprint meant going without shoes.

"Got to have a pair of those!"

"You were ho-ho-hoing in your sleep again!"

'Hello, front desk? I'd like to leave a March wake-up call.'

'So how did Hakeem take it when you told him we'd be paying him in footwear instead of cash this year, for being our spokesman?'

"And the best feature of this shoe is you'll look Athletic even if you're not."

'He isn't use to getting up this early.'

"Wingtips--this is a white collar gang."

'Yes, but it was a glass ballet flat that I lost.'

'Bad news. Your arm is too injured to hold up those sneakers you endorse on TV.'

'You have a very advanced case of athlete's foot.'

"They're the closest I've come to owning a car!"

'Trainers for actually playing sport in.'