Sports Fan Humor Gifts

'Wow. I just can't decide. ... OK, I guess I'll go with the peanuts.'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

'...and watch out for his 'flipper'!'

'Here we go again...'

The best goalie in the world!

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

The Cricketer and the Golfer

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

Team medic spraying deodorant

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

'...And Timmy, as usual, will guard goal.'

"She's about to get him on the rebound."

Captain Ahab and Moby Dick in Retirement

"Listen, I've had 25 fights and won all but 24 of them."

"Cricket...six minutes of excitement crammed into six hours!"

Golf escape.

"Twenty seven shots, first hole. I think we'll call that a dodo."

Ref shows footballer green card.

'In this...um...part of the circle...'

'It's not your fault, Dewey. Whenever a call doesn't go his way, he goes ballistic.'

'Will you lean on the other post for awhile, please?.'

'And it looks like the refs are going to call a hard fowl.'

"Oh, come on ref. How can you not see that?!"

'The Ref gave out 4 yellow cards, 2 reds and 7 Valentine cards.'

Dominique Valera - The King/Cat

"I'm against pain killers for players, but I'm for them for supporters."