Sports Bar Regular Gifts

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

Bro Rabbit

"Football world cup? Bah! I don't care about football."

Sports Bar: 5-7 pm No Bullying During Happy Hour.

'He is our darts team captain,he always finishes on a double.'

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'

Live soccer today.

"Blowing the whistle is perfect for a sports bar to let its patrons know that Happy Hour is over."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'No ice.'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"Rump roast?"

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

Check your universal remote control at the door.

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

"And would you like flies with that?"

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

'The beef has been genetically modified to make it taste like a more expensive cut.'

I wish I'd had the review.