Sports Bar Aficionado Gifts

"I don't know—my gut tells me I should have another beer."

"Banning A-Rod for the entire season is tragic. However, banning him for the postseason might be a good omen."

"Greg of Rockland County. Patron saint of inebriated bowlers."

"So, what team do you support?"

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"Portrait of a Lady"

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Check your universal remote control at the door.

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

The Harper Plays Cricket.

Cristiano Ronaldo

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

Last Chance For Reality

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

Thibaut Nicolas Marc Courtois

"Blowing the whistle is perfect for a sports bar to let its patrons know that Happy Hour is over."

Football.

Fox hunting.

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar