Sports Bar Enthusiasts Gifts

'You appear to have 'sports bar neck', from watching TV high over the bar...'

I like the Jets...I guess

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

Check your universal remote control at the door.

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

"Yes! I hit a triple. Woo-hoo."

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

'To talk to men at their own level you have to talk a load of balls.'

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

A skier and a paraglider

'I don't even care about the score, catty. I just enjoy the long walk.'

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

"Blowing the whistle is perfect for a sports bar to let its patrons know that Happy Hour is over."

David and Goliath.

'He thought the fire alarm was the bell for last orders, and ran towards the bar.'

Psychiatrist to man dressed in baseball jersey: 'You've never gotten over the fact your father wouldn't play catch with you?'

Ostrich Bar

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

"With other dates I've been on, long walks on the beach seemed like a cliche, but with you it really feels genuine."

'Glen Hoddle employs faith healer' "Remember the days we only had a magic sponge?"

"I can't shake the feeling there's always someone looking over my shoulder."

"Do they look tired to you?"

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

"I'm taking a creative writing class. I turned in my checkbook and got an A."

Our changing neighborhood: new store openings.