Sports And Laughs Gifts

Golf cheerleaders.

'Hole in one!!!!'

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

Dedication to excellence....

"Skate or die."

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

The best goalie in the world!

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

"She's about to get him on the rebound."

"Hey! What did I tell you about drinking right out of your super bowl, young man?"

Ref shows footballer green card.

'I don't mind being sent off Sir - but not during the warm-up!'

"Of course you still make me laugh, just not out loud."

'And it looks like the refs are going to call a hard fowl.'

The Puck Stops Here.

Discus accidents.

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

'Now, Perkins, hit my ball straight down the fairway for about 300 yards.'

You Don't Know What It's Like

Old basketball players never die. . . they just pick and roll.

'Listen,kid, you're going to have to lower your standards if you ever want to throw the sleazeball.'

"Sweetie, I know we missed Princesses on Ice, but I'm going to make it up to you."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Racing - No. II - IV

'I've got a good idea to improve the team.'

Red Card on the Podium

Shows Bundt

'Sit down, Roger! You're creating drag.'

'I like that guy. He gets a splitting headache, but instead of quitting, he calls time out, the athletic trainer tapes him up, and he gets right back in the game.'

Football or no football, that's not how we pass the plate.

'Promise me. Never again. Don't ever get sheared right before a fight.'

'So then the linebacker yells back at this guy: 'Oh yeah? Well, next play, I'm gonna cram the ball...' Wait! I got it.'

'Tough luck Warren, but it was always going to be hard to get a strike.'

Dragon brought on as substitute

"I don't know. I just don't think this 'bowling' thing will work."