Sporting Event Survivor Gifts

"Well guys,how was the hockey game?"

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

Desert Island BBQ

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

Gary turns 40.

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

Goldfish bowl on raft...

Ted's Brilliant Rugby Career Was Plagued By Nagging Injuries,

Good Luck in your Exams.

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

Examinations.

Desert Island Mishap

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

"You've passed with extinction!"

Extra Long-jump

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

'Go and hunt for your own lunch. Who do you think I am, Ray Mears?!'

Help! Send fishing tackle!

'Not likely - the last time I went in one of those, it sank!'

"I wish I'd failed my 11 Plus too...."

Sporting maladies.

"I swear, if you say 'I'm bored' one more time . . . "

"I'm realizing how useless I'd be in a post apocalyptic world - All I do is draw cartoons."

"After they've had hell beaten out of them they'll enjoy playing in Heaven."

"I see you do all your own stunts."

'My knee's in rehab. This one's a loaner.'

'You've got a broken finger.'

Warning: Cathartic manifestations of childhood trauma next 5 miles

'Wow, that shift almost got us.'

'Bloody plaster of Paris.'

Shipwrecked.