Sporting Critics Gifts

Footballer playing for time

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

'What the... Oh, lucky me - it's just something easy to get rid of!'

Then and Now.

'You better have a hunting license.'

'I don't want to mention any names, but one of you isn't giving 100% out there.'

'We're sending you down, Hartnett. You need to work on your scratching and spitting.'

Match Fixing in Malaysia

Doping

"I don't know where his dip in form came from."

World Cup. Half Empty.

'You may be wondering what a sex scandal has to do with managing the national team...'

'But now for the good news, Bob. The replay was shown repeatedly on Sports Center.'

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.

Bull with gun

"He's told them many a time, not to let defenders shoot, but do they take any notice. . ?"

'Touch me and I'll see you in Strasbourg.'

Novak Djokovic

Marvin preferred the old fashioned way of arguing, before instant replay.

'The selectors must be meeting...'

"This part of the match was fixed...errr....sponsered by..."

"Now isn’t this better than that silly Super Bowl game?"

'Careful with that shotgun, it could go off.' - 'Don't worry, I'm covering the trigger with my finger.'

"For God's sake, it's only a game!"