Sport Junkies Pillows

Good and bad defence.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

'Verheyen! How many times have I told you? Don't let your personal life affect your play on the court.'

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

"We've got the same ringtone!" (Two guys opening ring pull drinks cans).

"In two weeks' time, Andy Murray will either have achieved a great British win or an awful Scottish defeat."

Finesse fishing

"Keep your guard up and don't hold your punches. Whatever you do, watch out for his right hook!"

The conversion.

"I'm watching the hockey game. The score is 4 nothing for the Zamboni driver."

As senior assistant groundskeeper, Louie was responsible for dragging the infielders before every game.

Bored with retirement, the Great One tries crime.

Fun with Ned-Ball.

"I just realized that unless I'm riding for some cause, I must look like an idiot."

'This is Role Model Man. He is our new assistant coach in charge of projecting a positive image to impressionable young minds.'

...Another second closer to kick-off....another second..

"This should be good! I switched his discus with a frisbee!"

"Yeah, it's sports-related, Doc...I was watching the ball game on TV, reached for my beer and 'wham'!"

'And remember, Timmy: Along with the status of being a star athlete comes a responsibility to act as if the law doesn't apply to you.'

Sergio Aguero

'You see, I would make a great goalkeeper...'

'No way, man! Murphy isn't worth anywhere near the 3.5 million they're paying him!'

"There's the handoff, and it looks like Dad is going to go with an option route, avoiding the rush from the dishwasher, sweeping left, evading the teenager blitz and heading directly to the liquor store!"

'Dad was fibbing, Mum... the new TV DOES show stuff beside sport!'