Sport Junkies Gifts

Good and bad defence.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"Can I still do my pilates?"

'Verheyen! How many times have I told you? Don't let your personal life affect your play on the court.'

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

"We've got the same ringtone!" (Two guys opening ring pull drinks cans).

"In two weeks' time, Andy Murray will either have achieved a great British win or an awful Scottish defeat."

"What time is it?" "Half past World Cup."

Finesse fishing

"Keep your guard up and don't hold your punches. Whatever you do, watch out for his right hook!"

"I'm watching the hockey game. The score is 4 nothing for the Zamboni driver."

The conversion.

"He just married me on the rebound."

As senior assistant groundskeeper, Louie was responsible for dragging the infielders before every game.

"I just realized that unless I'm riding for some cause, I must look like an idiot."

Fun with Ned-Ball.

Bored with retirement, the Great One tries crime.

"You're in the cartoon league now. You just have to pretend those little circles in the stands are actual people."

'This is really going to tarnish his legacy, Al.'

'This is Role Model Man. He is our new assistant coach in charge of projecting a positive image to impressionable young minds.'

...Another second closer to kick-off....another second..

"This should be good! I switched his discus with a frisbee!"

The horses are off and "Movie Star" take the lead. Here comes "Freight Train" on the rail. Around the bend and down the stretch "Yoge Pose" takes the lead. It might be "Short Circuit" at the wire. No! The winner is "Selfie" in a photo finish!

"Yeah, it's sports-related, Doc...I was watching the ball game on TV, reached for my beer and 'wham'!"

'And remember, Timmy: Along with the status of being a star athlete comes a responsibility to act as if the law doesn't apply to you.'

Sergio Aguero

'Oh great, now I broke a nail.'

'You see, I would make a great goalkeeper...'

'Dad was fibbing, Mum... the new TV DOES show stuff beside sport!'

Money and Football