Sports Rivalries Junkie Pillows

Subway Series

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

You were warned about mixed marriages.

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Tic-tac-toe

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

"Just being proactive."

"I guess there ain't room in this town for two bonsai specialists."

Next Wave Collegiate Sports

"...And don't give me that 'I hope his precious little Blackhawks lose' look either!"

'As your doctor, I'd strongly advise that you not laugh at your wife when you beat her at tennis!'

"Yin and Yankee fan"

Fight on the top

'I warned him about watching the game at the opposition's pub.'

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

"I just realized that unless I'm riding for some cause, I must look like an idiot."

Lion v Kiwi.

Dog tallying his score against the mailman.

Sergio Aguero

'Free food. Free place to sleep. And now we get to see a Cubs game - all comp! This is the freakin' life, Louie!'

I've just found out our competitors are losing money faster than we are.

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

'You're useless, Johnson. I like that in a rival.'

"You need to take a break from watching too many tennis matches."

English supporters - Sometimes, the Germans may misunderstand you!

'It all started over who had the bigger medical file.'

"Nobody realized I was a man to watch until it was too late."

"I would like to thank my owners, my trainer, my jockey, and everyone else in my stable, without whom my victory would not have been possible."

"Joseph's jealous brother adds bleach to the coat of many colors wash."

Keepy-uppy with the Joneses.