Sports Junkie Pillows

It's an addiction...let her watch the finals replay no more than twice a day until further notice.

Sergio Aguero

"I would like to thank my owners, my trainer, my jockey, and everyone else in my stable, without whom my victory would not have been possible."

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

Grip the club tighter, you idiot!

'Hey, I understand your frustration, OK? But if I didn't see it happen, I can't call it.'

"You need to take a break from watching too many tennis matches."

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Go team!

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Ball as water-melon.

Cricket Accidents.

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

'We're looking for athletic people.'

Hockey Season.

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'...I don't like your chances!'

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

The bovine who jumped over the news went on to a great career w/ the Bulls!