Sports Media Junkie Pillows

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

Man bombarded by sale adverts in the media

"After finally discovering that we exist, you would think you would have something more important to ask than if we had Roku."

'I'm a has-been celebrity - get me in there!'

"We don�t do awards ceremonies up here actually"

"Keep your guard up and don't hold your punches. Whatever you do, watch out for his right hook!"

At the celebrity jobcentre...

The World's First Talking Dog,

"A Ms. Ramona Bissell of West Allison, Vermont, writes, 'What the hell is going on?' We here at WVCN think that question deserves an answer."

"I just realized that unless I'm riding for some cause, I must look like an idiot."

...Another second closer to kick-off....another second..

"Gee... A wide screen, high-definition TV with Stereo-Gasm Sound and over 500 channels! It's almost like having a life!"

Football Fan.

Sergio Aguero

Today's movies and TV shows give sex and crime a bad name.

"Well - I don't know what possessed her..."

Entourage HMO - Healthcare for Celebrities & Their Hangers-on.

'Stocks rose on news that in the corporate boardroom and in politics, hot air always rises.'

'I finished doing the green plants around 11 pm on the sixth day, a Saturday I think...and the rest,as they say, is history.'

'Free food. Free place to sleep. And now we get to see a Cubs game - all comp! This is the freakin' life, Louie!'

"Face it - nothing gets done in an election year."

'Watch the news with the sound turned off. You're suffering from information overload.'

Sports vocabulary

"I would like to thank my owners, my trainer, my jockey, and everyone else in my stable, without whom my victory would not have been possible."

"Banana! Banana! My energy break!"

Woman on TV says: 'Remember, you can download the best bits of this show as a video podcast, if you really have no life.'

"You need to take a break from watching too many tennis matches."

I think I might like to be a journalist.