Sports Media Junkie Pillows

Avram Grant, Premier League Manager.

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

Ian Hislop

Man bombarded by sale adverts in the media

"After finally discovering that we exist, you would think you would have something more important to ask than if we had Roku."

'I'm a has-been celebrity - get me in there!'

"What time is it?" "Half past World Cup."

"We don�t do awards ceremonies up here actually"

"Keep your guard up and don't hold your punches. Whatever you do, watch out for his right hook!"

The World's First Talking Dog,

At the celebrity jobcentre...

"I just realized that unless I'm riding for some cause, I must look like an idiot."

"A Ms. Ramona Bissell of West Allison, Vermont, writes, 'What the hell is going on?' We here at WVCN think that question deserves an answer."

"Gee... A wide screen, high-definition TV with Stereo-Gasm Sound and over 500 channels! It's almost like having a life!"

...Another second closer to kick-off....another second..

Sergio Aguero

Football Fan.

"Well - I don't know what possessed her..."

'Stocks rose on news that in the corporate boardroom and in politics, hot air always rises.'

Today's movies and TV shows give sex and crime a bad name.

Entourage HMO - Healthcare for Celebrities & Their Hangers-on.

"So if you don't want to know the World Cup results look away now until July 16th."

'I'm just putting the final touches to my world cup preparations...'

'Free food. Free place to sleep. And now we get to see a Cubs game - all comp! This is the freakin' life, Louie!'

'I finished doing the green plants around 11 pm on the sixth day, a Saturday I think...and the rest,as they say, is history.'

"Face it - nothing gets done in an election year."

'Watch the news with the sound turned off. You're suffering from information overload.'

"You need to take a break from watching too many tennis matches."

"I would like to thank my owners, my trainer, my jockey, and everyone else in my stable, without whom my victory would not have been possible."

Sports vocabulary

Woman on TV says: 'Remember, you can download the best bits of this show as a video podcast, if you really have no life.'

"Banana! Banana! My energy break!"

I think I might like to be a journalist.