Tv Sports Junkie Pillows

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

"All of a dither as per usual!"

Dancing with the Star Wars

'Redneck Goldfish' Earl knew better than to watch Oprah while drinking.

Putting Practice.

'Breaking Bad' Box Set Addiction.

Lawn Order. It's a landscaping show about maintaining a tidy yard.

Mog The Week

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

"There's more to life than beer and football...I just can remember what it is."

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

Frank and Ernie's Poetry Corner. Robert Frost. TV Guide. I think I'll watch some late-night comedy

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

'If social security were privatized, the administration also suggested a name change to 'Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld holdings inc.''

"Well, you gonna spin?" "Ah, maybe after another Breaking Bad."

America's funniest investment scams

"What time is it?" "Half past World Cup."

'He's in training for the Olympics'

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I neglected to talk over you."

Wall mountable TVs.

In other news, the world turned upside down today.

'What shall we watch - best security videos of 2013 or operating room bloopers, blunders and bleeps?'

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."

Kathryn Morris

"'60 Minutes' is on."

"I see myself as a lot like Garbo, but very much a people person!"

"I just realized that unless I'm riding for some cause, I must look like an idiot."

"The season finale of the world is near."

"Honey, Clay Buchholz is about to cement a Cy Young!"