Spiritual Teacher Gifts

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"No way! It's definitely your turn to 'be one' with the dishes."

A person seeking truth walks on a treadmill.

All we have in life is this moment...

'I finally discovered the secret of the Universe, and I forgot to bookmark it!'

Bearded old man atop mountain.

'The road to Nirvana: 'Am I there yet? Huh? Am I? Huh? Am I there yet? Huh?'

"Possible side effects include disharmony, lack of oneness, and blurred third-eye vision."

"You say that life is suffering, but isn't it also complaining?"

'I always answer their questions with a question - it drives them nuts!'

'Why, thank you -- I made it out of a molehill.'

'Words of wisdom? OK, how about, next time take the elevator.'

'Don't trust him David - he's an authority figure.'

'I've been reincarnated 47 time, and it's ALWAYS as some poor schlub sitting on a mountain!'

'I came up here because the meaning of life is location, location, location.'

'Thanks for the meaning of life. But I'll still need money.'

So your career objective is to 'swallow the universe.' Why Buddhists don't get jobs.

"Don't roll your third eye at me."

'The first step towards wisdom is accepting that nobody you with knows anything.'

'Our material is great -- we just need a wider audience.'

"It's not for us to question why, on certain mornings, the master is silent."

Road to Enlightenment: "Pssst...are we there yet?"

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

Zen Buddhist Diary

''The meaning of life'? -- are you from some dictionary company?'

'There's no such thing as a free lunch' -- that'll be ten bucks.'

'What did I tell you? -- It's location, location, location!'

'I just found out that the mantra you gave me is Pig Latin!'

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

'He followed me home, Dad. Can I enlighten him?'

'Living up here is the best I can afford -- I'm still paying alimony from three past lives!'

'It was nice of tou yo come all this way but most people just visit my website.'

'Do you suppose it's possible to become TOO enlightened?'

'I'm afraid that I have to raise the rent.'

Kids holding balloons,buddist monk