Spiritual Teacher Gifts

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"No way! It's definitely your turn to 'be one' with the dishes."

A person seeking truth walks on a treadmill.

All we have in life is this moment...

Buddhist holds a sign reading 'The End is Insight.'

Bearded old man atop mountain.

'I finally discovered the secret of the Universe, and I forgot to bookmark it!'

'The road to Nirvana: 'Am I there yet? Huh? Am I? Huh? Am I there yet? Huh?'

"Possible side effects include disharmony, lack of oneness, and blurred third-eye vision."

"You say that life is suffering, but isn't it also complaining?"

"Nothing is as it seems, my son."

'Why, thank you -- I made it out of a molehill.'

'I always answer their questions with a question - it drives them nuts!'

Ignorance and Bliss

'Don't trust him David - he's an authority figure.'

"You've reached the consciousness-raising call center. For the meaning of life, press 1. For the secret to happiness, press 2. For the joke of the day, press 3."

'Words of wisdom? OK, how about, next time take the elevator.'

'I've been reincarnated 47 time, and it's ALWAYS as some poor schlub sitting on a mountain!'

'I came up here because the meaning of life is location, location, location.'

Nowhere is just one space away from Now Here.

'Thanks for the meaning of life. But I'll still need money.'

So your career objective is to 'swallow the universe.' Why Buddhists don't get jobs.

"It's not for us to question why, on certain mornings, the master is silent."

'There's no such thing as a free lunch' -- that'll be ten bucks.'

''The meaning of life'? -- are you from some dictionary company?'

'Do you suppose it's possible to become TOO enlightened?'

'It was nice of tou yo come all this way but most people just visit my website.'

'I'm afraid that I have to raise the rent.'

'Living up here is the best I can afford -- I'm still paying alimony from three past lives!'

'He followed me home, Dad. Can I enlighten him?'

'What did I tell you? -- It's location, location, location!'

"Don't roll your third eye at me."

Kids holding balloons,buddist monk

'I just found out that the mantra you gave me is Pig Latin!'

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'