Spiritual Satire Enjoyer Pillows

'Yes, all at once!'

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

Priest's 'To do' list.

"It was better before God took up knitting."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Ghostwriting the Bible

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

The Ten Really Cool Facts

'Even More Disciples'

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

"He wants us to start calling him 'Head Honcho'."

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

Church restrooms

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

Gates of heaven

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'