Spiritual Satire Appreciator Pillows

'My earthly body is still in the doctor's waiting room.'

Halo Thefts

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

Ghostwriting the Bible

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Yes, all at once!'

The Berlin Peace Movement

"OMG, LOL!"

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

"That's very offensive."

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

Church restrooms

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

Children should be seen and not heard. We're decorative.

"No it's fine, really. I'm just saying it's not very mysterious."

'Don't be too hard on sinners. If it weren't for sinning, we'd all be out of work!'

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

'As it's Sunday there will be 30 minutes browsing before the service begins.'

"It's Irv Pelton, Mr. Mather, from the Voice Crying in the Wilderness Department."

King Commute.

Angel learning to fly...

'Not now, Lord!'

"Is there anybody there?"

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

'I didn't know I'd need a PIN number!'

"Up here, we call it 'Nectar of the Gods' not 'Devil's Brew'!"

'...and we would be grateful if you would refrain from calling us 'birds of pray''

"Hi. I'm Rod. And this is my staff."

'I'm on a diet -- I only eat illusory things.'

"Two bars—how about you?"