Spiritual Satire Appreciator Pillows

'My earthly body is still in the doctor's waiting room.'

Halo Thefts

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

Ghostwriting the Bible

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Yes, all at once!'

"OMG, LOL!"

The Berlin Peace Movement

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

"That's very offensive."

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

Exit. I never get tired of watching them fall for that.

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

Church restrooms

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

Children should be seen and not heard. We're decorative.

"No it's fine, really. I'm just saying it's not very mysterious."

'He may be the Messiah, but he's no Springsteen.'

'Don't be too hard on sinners. If it weren't for sinning, we'd all be out of work!'

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

'As it's Sunday there will be 30 minutes browsing before the service begins.'

"It's Irv Pelton, Mr. Mather, from the Voice Crying in the Wilderness Department."

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'

King Commute.

'I didn't know I'd need a PIN number!'

Angel learning to fly...

'Not now, Lord!'

"Is there anybody there?"

And on the seventh day He rested

'I'm on a diet -- I only eat illusory things.'

Some other sins you may enjoy.

'...and we would be grateful if you would refrain from calling us 'birds of pray''

"Up here, we call it 'Nectar of the Gods' not 'Devil's Brew'!"