Spiritual Satire Admirer Pillows

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

'We can prove there is an indiscriminate use of your image and that you are entitled to proper compensation.'

Priest's 'To do' list.

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

Ghostwriting the Bible

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'Yes, all at once!'

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

The Ten Really Cool Facts

'Even More Disciples'

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

Church restrooms

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

"He wants us to start calling him 'Head Honcho'."

Gates of heaven

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

"It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full if you have a case."