Spiritual Satire Enthusiast Pillows

This prayer may be monitored or recorded for quality purposes. Please hold. A representative will be with you shortly.'

"It's Irv Pelton, Mr. Mather, from the Voice Crying in the Wilderness Department."

Fakir has chamber pot with nails.

'The Red Sea partings, today 8:34am and 4:26pm'

"No sacrifices until you buy the idol, sir."

Ghostwriting the Bible

'Don't be too hard on sinners. If it weren't for sinning, we'd all be out of work!'

'First of all, thank you for enrolling in our rewards program.'

'They're saying the manna DOESN'T taste like chicken.'

'I'm on a diet -- I only eat illusory things.'

Collection dish with IOU note in.

'Who knew God wears a snuggie?'

"What do you think of the new offering buckets Preacher?"

"Hi there! - Would you mind if I come in and talk about the Devil..?"

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

Priest's 'To do' list.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Yes, all at once!'

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

The Ten Really Cool Facts

'Even More Disciples'

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."