Spiritual Satire Enthusiast Pillows

This prayer may be monitored or recorded for quality purposes. Please hold. A representative will be with you shortly.'

"It's Irv Pelton, Mr. Mather, from the Voice Crying in the Wilderness Department."

Fakir has chamber pot with nails.

'The Red Sea partings, today 8:34am and 4:26pm'

Daily Devotional

Listen, I know you're omniscient - You don't need to say "spoiler alert" every time you tell me something.

"No sacrifices until you buy the idol, sir."

Ghostwriting the Bible

'Don't be too hard on sinners. If it weren't for sinning, we'd all be out of work!'

'First of all, thank you for enrolling in our rewards program.'

'They're saying the manna DOESN'T taste like chicken.'

'I'm on a diet -- I only eat illusory things.'

Collection dish with IOU note in.

'Who knew God wears a snuggie?'

"What do you think of the new offering buckets Preacher?"

"Hi there! - Would you mind if I come in and talk about the Devil..?"

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

Priest's 'To do' list.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'Yes, all at once!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

'Even More Disciples'

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

The Ten Really Cool Facts