Spiritual Satire Buff Pillows

"Come! Join my cult! Bring your worldly goods in cash, silver or gold!"

Priest's 'To do' list.

Ghostwriting the Bible

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'Yes, all at once!'

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

The Ten Really Cool Facts

'Even More Disciples'

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

"He wants us to start calling him 'Head Honcho'."

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

Gates of heaven

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

'All the tellers are nuns.'

"It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full if you have a case."