Spiritual Satire Buff Gifts

"Come! Join my cult! Bring your worldly goods in cash, silver or gold!"

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Priest's 'To do' list.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Ghostwriting the Bible

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Yes, all at once!'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

'Even More Disciples'

The Ten Really Cool Facts

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

"Couldn't you just set up a facebook page or a blog?"

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

Fish Baptism is by full emersion

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

"He wants us to start calling him 'Head Honcho'."

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

Gates of heaven

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

"It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full if you have a case."

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants