Spiritual Satire Enjoyer Gifts

'Yes, all at once!'

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

Priest's 'To do' list.

Ghostwriting the Bible

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

'Even More Disciples'

The Ten Really Cool Facts

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

"Couldn't you just set up a facebook page or a blog?"

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

Church restrooms

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

"He wants us to start calling him 'Head Honcho'."

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

Gates of heaven

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'