Spiritual Satire Gifts

"Actually we've done our own auditing."

"I regret believing in reincarnation."

"Is there anybody there?"

My getting here was a very close call.

'Not now, Lord!'

Angel learning to fly...

"Hi. I'm Rod. And this is my staff."

"Frankly, your credit score concerns me."

"No it's fine, really. I'm just saying it's not very mysterious."

Priest's 'To do' list.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Ghostwriting the Bible

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

'Yes, all at once!'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

Christian and Born again Christian...

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'Even More Disciples'

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

The Ten Really Cool Facts

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

"Couldn't you just set up a facebook page or a blog?"

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

Fish Baptism is by full emersion

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

"He wants us to start calling him 'Head Honcho'."