Spiritual Satire Gifts

"Actually we've done our own auditing."

"I regret believing in reincarnation."

"Is there anybody there?"

My getting here was a very close call.

'Not now, Lord!'

Angel learning to fly...

"Hi. I'm Rod. And this is my staff."

"No it's fine, really. I'm just saying it's not very mysterious."

Priest's 'To do' list.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Ghostwriting the Bible

'Yes, all at once!'

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

Christian and Born again Christian...

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

'Even More Disciples'

The Ten Really Cool Facts

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

"He wants us to start calling him 'Head Honcho'."

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

Lesbians for Christ

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'