Spiritual Satire Enthusiasts Gifts

"Son, why don't you switch to my shampoo and conditioner?"

'I hope you're satisfied! -- My friend's halo just exploded!'

"It was better before God took up knitting."

Ghostwriting the Bible

'Yes, all at once!'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

Lesbians for Christ

Fish Baptism is by full emersion

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

'He may be the Messiah, but he's no Springsteen.'

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

"No it's fine, really. I'm just saying it's not very mysterious."

Thwarting the Boys from Brazil

"Oooh! What's he gonna do now?!"

"OK, OK, Dad. I'm up... I'm up."

Self raising Lazarus.

'Don't be too hard on sinners. If it weren't for sinning, we'd all be out of work!'

Priest walks by a religious book shelf and and a Satan book pops out to hit him on the head.

"It's Irv Pelton, Mr. Mather, from the Voice Crying in the Wilderness Department."

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

Angel learning to fly...

'It was a split decision.'

'I miss the evildoers.'

'Not now, Lord!'

"Is there anybody there?"

"Tell me, have you ever been in a church prior to getting married?"

". . . and now, the weather."

'Great sermon, Reverend! -- If I ever want to find out more about sin, I sure know who to come to!'

Notice on back of bishop's gown - How's My Droving.

"And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin..."

A monk finds a little demon in the spine of his holy bible.