Spiritual Satire Lovers Pillows

'There! The sun is done.....I think I'll call it a day.'

"Up here, we call it 'Nectar of the Gods' not 'Devil's Brew'!"

"You have been found guilty of smug self-righteous pseudo-spirituality. I sentenced you to a period of six months with your wind chimes strapped to your head."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

Ghostwriting the Bible

'Yes, all at once!'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

Gates of heaven

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

'All the tellers are nuns.'

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

"The Brother printer is out of ink."

'This is for the V.A.T.- the Vicar's Autumn Treat!'

"No it's fine, really. I'm just saying it's not very mysterious."

Does this mean we lose our security deposit?

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

"Forgive me Father, I'm about to sin."

Self raising Lazarus.

"OK, OK, Dad. I'm up... I'm up."

About to take a triumphant departure from Ireland, Saint Patrick set his sights on world domination. That is, before his focus was diverted by a small harmless looking beverage.

Holy Relics.

'Don't be too hard on sinners. If it weren't for sinning, we'd all be out of work!'

'As it's Sunday there will be 30 minutes browsing before the service begins.'

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

"It's Irv Pelton, Mr. Mather, from the Voice Crying in the Wilderness Department."