Religious Satire Appreciator Pillows

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'A child was abducted from our nursery.'

"I guess if Jesus had been born a century ago this would be a tiny gold electric chair, huh?"

"If you don't stop quoting scripture at me, Reverend, you will go to hell."

"My mother broke up with Jesus in college; he wouldn't return her calls."

"Look, lets just call it a religious thing!"

Lemmings confession.

Hey, check this out! There's a guy walking on the water: Freaky!

Maureen! It's those Jehovah's Wirelesses again

'...and we would be grateful if you would refrain from calling us 'birds of pray''

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

Church restrooms

"It was better before God took up knitting."

Ghostwriting the Bible

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'Yes, all at once!'

"OMG, LOL!"

A surprise in heaven

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

Gates of heaven

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

Finger puppets in church.

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

"Erm, I don't think it meant just before the ceremony!!"

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

'All the tellers are nuns.'