Religious Satire Enjoyer Pillows

"Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit about fifteen per cent of the earth, a hundred-per-cent increase over what they have today."

'Oh no...it's a Jehovah's hostile witness.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

Ghostwriting the Bible

'Yes, all at once!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

A surprise in heaven

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"Freshly ground pepper?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

'..Then people will say, 'Why can't dogs get married?'.. And then, 'Why can't cats and dogs marry?'..'

How's my sermon. . .

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Michelangelo's 'God's Creation of the Adam Computer.'

Bishops Snooker

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

Church restrooms

Gates of heaven

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

"At the time I thought it was a goose."