Spiritual Satire Collector Pillows

"Some guy brought me this little origami angel. I think it was a bribe, but it's cute."

Ghostwriting the Bible

'Yes, all at once!'

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

The water desk

"It would appear they worshipped the almighty dollar."

"Barry stop!. . . I'm you! I'm Barry from 2008. I'm using a time machine to stop you from making an awful mistake!"

"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!"

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

'Don't be so sexist, sweet cheeks.'

Slave Drivers.

My boss is a real turd.

'He may be the Messiah, but he's no Springsteen.'

'Thanks for not asking for a rise.'

'Finally, an objective way to decide who to promote around here.'

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

"It is as I feared, Mr. Moran. It's definitely a stiff upper lip."

"These pills will cure your O.C.D., but first I wonder if you could organize my shelves."

Introducing Peter's Cousin - Murray Pan - The Boy Who Refused To Stay A Child

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

'Those are to increase my mental energy. . . Those are a mild sedative to calm my nerves.'

"Fire, bad. Smoke, good... quite the conundrum."

'Don't be too hard on sinners. If it weren't for sinning, we'd all be out of work!'

"See that guy over there? Used to be a real headliner."

"Of course there are some advantages to working here...we have a Food Bank situated conveniently at the end of the street!"

"It's Irv Pelton, Mr. Mather, from the Voice Crying in the Wilderness Department."

'I'm concerned. I enjoy paying taxes.'

'Well, your income looks good, and you've been on your job for over two years... but it seems you're 15 trillion dollars in debt.'

'I hope everyone saw the ATM installed in the entrance.'

World Domination

'Taking guard' 'The pessimist'

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

This house believes that "No Platforming" is not an attack on free speech.