Spiritual Idlers Gifts

Advanced Zen for Couch Potatoes: Earl becomes One with his Lazy-Boy.

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

"Home depot."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'Oh, crap.'

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

'You must heal yourself.'

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

Christian and Born again Christian...

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

FAQs.

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

"Look, if I had all the answers, would I be living alone on the top of a mountain?"

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

The Path

"Did you have a cat?"

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"All the celebrities come here."