Ironic Idler Gifts

don't you think it might be significant that you only hear the ringing in your ears when you're at church?

Louis Armstrong

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

"From this you make a living?"

The sad fate of Isaac Newton's Tahitian counterpart.

'Are we having fun yet?'

"Is that neat whisky?"

'I'm all for this interactivity.'

"Oh, Stan, I love your sarcastic sense of humor."

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

'Leonardo's Lament' - 'I have nothing to do.'

'If you think you can sit around here and doodle all the day... uh, never mind.'

Waking the Dead.

An overweight lazy man chooses to exercise on a motorbike at a gym.

Nothing gives me a greater feeling of accomplishment than not accomplishing anything.

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

"So...what have you been doing for your last week of summer break?"

Full use should be made of sea objects put there for your convenience.

Mild Thing.

'Actually on a molecular level, I'm quite active.'

Ophidiophobic Society 10k Run.

Kissing Under The Misanthrope

"She's been looking forward to this for years - she even took dancing lessons!"

Diet now...ask me how. 'I spent $600 at the fat farm and haven't lost a single kilo, apparently you're supposed to show up...'

Man being prodded into hell by a demon meets a charity collector with clipboard, asking: 'Hello, could I have five minutes of your time?'

'Since he retired, it's been all play and no work, but he's STILL a dull boy!'

Arnold Schwarzenegger's clone: 'But I don't wanna pump iron!'

No one knows why Jesus stopped going to frat parties: 'What are we going to do with all this water?'

Execution.

"I'm good with money so I'm thinking about going into accounting."

Fisherman catches a 'No Fishing' sign.

'Don's a workaholic. Mention work, and he gets drunk.'