Spiritual Commentator Gifts

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

"What's a polite but firm way of letting them know I don't like modern architecture?"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Priest's 'To do' list.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Cartoonist thinking'

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

'Even More Disciples'

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

The Ten Really Cool Facts

"It's a good show, but I'm pretty sure it's a limited series."

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

"I'll check and see if he's available."

Sports Radio in Crisis

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

"He wants us to start calling him 'Head Honcho'."

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

Sir Patrick Moore.

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

"Couldn't you just set up a facebook page or a blog?"