Religion Commentator Gifts

Church sign: 'Contains some violence and strong language'.

"I have to confess a sin, Preacher. I went premarital shopping."

Diocese of South Carolina!

'Twelve Disciples'

"If Jesus had actually been born white in the Middle-East - that would have been the miracle."

Mr. Trump Goes To Church

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

Edmund Burke's 'Reflections on the Revolution in France' haunts Dr Richard Price

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Corruption trial in the Vatican

Does Christianity have the monopoly on morality?

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'Doesn't this 'chosen people' thing sound a little nepotistic?'

'Fourteenth century church, fourteenth century views.'

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

"They're really more like a bucket list."

Tickets being sold for the Fun House and the Religious Fundamentalist House,

Actual Results May Vary

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

Basic Theology

"An 'eight' for technical merit, Pastor, but only a 'five' for originality."

Priest to congregation, "I'm no different to you just because I wear a dog collar."

"As a Christian, it's my job to love everyone. Especially people like you who don't deserve it."

"Let's face it - if your god existed, I'd been struck dead long ago for mocking her."

God is dead.

"Armageddon, armageddon, armageddon, then sports and weather."

"The Bible does not say that!... And if it does, it's taken out of context!... And if it isn't, it's just a metaphor!... And if it's not, it's not a big deal!... And if it is, then that's just how things were done back then!... And if... er... shut up