Religion And Science Commentator Gifts

Grassy Knoll Creationism: 'More potshots at evolution.'

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

Edmund Burke's 'Reflections on the Revolution in France' haunts Dr Richard Price

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

"It's a good show, but I'm pretty sure it's a limited series."

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

The Pope

Worst. God. Ever.

"We Tell No One"

Does Christianity have the monopoly on morality?

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

"I have to confess a sin, Preacher. I went premarital shopping."

Tickets being sold for the Fun House and the Religious Fundamentalist House,

'Fourteenth century church, fourteenth century views.'

I hear you're preaching godlessness, you little heathen. I'm preaching intellectual honesty. There is no proof of a Judeo Christian almighty. You might as well believe in Zeus or the spiritual powers of a raisin scone. Where do you think morality comes from? What do you think is the basis for our civil society? The almighty! All hail the raisin scone! HOJ.

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

Actual Results May Vary

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

Basic Theology

Blasphemer! Ignoramus. HOJ. Your anti-religious rants will lead to the breakdown of morality. The divine is our source of civilization and humanity. It's what separates us from lowly animals. That and our ability to turn worthless jungle into condos. You're playing dirty now, hairless one.

"An 'eight' for technical merit, Pastor, but only a 'five' for originality."

Liberals Ignore Science Too

"As a Christian, it's my job to love everyone. Especially people like you who don't deserve it."

Frankenstein wears a t-shirt that states: 'Just say no to stem cell research.'

"I don't believe in these idiots any longer. You now can call me an atheist."

"Let's face it - if your god existed, I'd been struck dead long ago for mocking her."

"Armageddon, armageddon, armageddon, then sports and weather."

'Thank you, Iris, but it's actually a 'Lauer cake'.'

The Kommander in Khief