Religion Commentators Gifts

'Judas Iscariot makes a another 30 pieces of silver'

'...fast track Tony for Sainthood'

Tickets being sold for the Fun House and the Religious Fundamentalist House,

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

Edmund Burke's 'Reflections on the Revolution in France' haunts Dr Richard Price

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

The Pope

Worst. God. Ever.

Does Christianity have the monopoly on morality?

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

A Man of Faith

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'Fourteenth century church, fourteenth century views.'

"I have to confess a sin, Preacher. I went premarital shopping."

"They're really more like a bucket list."

I hear you're preaching godlessness, you little heathen. I'm preaching intellectual honesty. There is no proof of a Judeo Christian almighty. You might as well believe in Zeus or the spiritual powers of a raisin scone. Where do you think morality comes from? What do you think is the basis for our civil society? The almighty! All hail the raisin scone! HOJ.

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

Actual Results May Vary

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

Priest to congregation, "I'm no different to you just because I wear a dog collar."

"An 'eight' for technical merit, Pastor, but only a 'five' for originality."

Basic Theology

"I gave him a public education Artie ol' boy. . . you should know by now that government schools are one of my best minion corporations!"

Blasphemer! Ignoramus. HOJ. Your anti-religious rants will lead to the breakdown of morality. The divine is our source of civilization and humanity. It's what separates us from lowly animals. That and our ability to turn worthless jungle into condos. You're playing dirty now, hairless one.

Liberals Ignore Science Too

"As a Christian, it's my job to love everyone. Especially people like you who don't deserve it."

"Let's face it - if your god existed, I'd been struck dead long ago for mocking her."