Angelic Commentator Gifts

Well, here's your problem … you lost a wing nut.

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

"It's a good show, but I'm pretty sure it's a limited series."

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

An amplified harp

'The company was quite generous. They gave me a whole day off for the funeral.'

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

Does Christianity have the monopoly on morality?

Worst. God. Ever.

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

"Not that it's any of your business, but no, I wasn't kicked out! We had creative differences, that's all!"

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

'It's true that the meek were intended to inherit the Earth, Mr. Osgood, but we have you classified as 'apathetic.''

"If it isn't E mc2!"

'Fourteenth century church, fourteenth century views.'

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

"Fifty is plenty.". . . "Hundred and fifty."

"So much for eternal rest."

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

'Mr.Shumway here is our visiting ethicist.'

"Better hurry it up on that 'Eve' project. Adam's been giving the eye to an orangutan."

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

'They're the angel of social conscience funds and his evil twin, greedy devil.'

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut

'Walter, I warned you about all that angel hair pasta and pie in the sky.'

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

"Well, to be honest, I try to avoid reunions - my first four husbands are here."

Late Night TV

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."