Celestial Commentators Gifts

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"...Ooh, I wanna know more about your dark side!"

Water is discovered on the moon....

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"It's a good show, but I'm pretty sure it's a limited series."

'Those are the Divinity students.'

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

Heaven

Worst. God. Ever.

Does Christianity have the monopoly on morality?

'From creating stuff like this you make a LIVING?'

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

Life on cloud 8

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

"I have to confess a sin, Preacher. I went premarital shopping."

'One nice thing about this, it has overcome my fear of height.'

'Fourteenth century church, fourteenth century views.'

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

Tickets being sold for the Fun House and the Religious Fundamentalist House,

"Up here everything is pretty much opposite."

"Sometimes I miss a good smiting."

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

"It started as an out-of body experience but I forgot the password to get back in."