Spine Whisperer T-Shirts

'The early chiropractor.'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

'Your shoe's untied.'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

My other cello is a Stradivari

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

Violin Practise

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

Snake with 'toxic' sign around it's neck.

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

Spiders all over the place, "Hello, Guiness book of records?"

Happy Violinist

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

"I'm the ghost of Christmas Tree Future, and honestly, it doesn't turn out well for you."

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

'...and where did you bury the bone?'

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

'It's my job to be nosy!'

'I'm not hibernating there again - I got the heebie-jeebies being around so many snakes!'

'If another barman cracks the joke about not serving spirits, I'm leaving ...'

'Stop gritting your teeth!'

'He's not there at the moment so please leave a message.'

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

'You're very tense today.'

The Four Seasonings.

Cello player has an audience of cats.

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

"Perhaps a dirge would lift your spirits?"