Pain Whisperer T-Shirts

'Actually, the pain is just nature's way of keeping you humble.'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

'It's a beautiful lighthouse. However, hauling the batteries up the stairs has taken its toll on my back.'

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

"I'm the ghost of Christmas Tree Future, and honestly, it doesn't turn out well for you."

"To be honest, most of our work involves reassuring patients until nature cures them..."

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

'...and where did you bury the bone?'

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

"My, aren't we patient-oriented this morning."

'He's not there at the moment so please leave a message.'

"You have the right to remain silent, anytime you cry can be used against you...."

'If another barman cracks the joke about not serving spirits, I'm leaving ...'

Freudian vs Behavior therapist.

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

We're only going to the movies, kids. The babysitter's here! Transitions are stressful, Twig. I can deal - They're filled with extreme separation anxiety. So I see! Don't worry, kids! It's ok. You'll be home soon!

"I'm a medium." "Really? I'm a large!" "Your late Aunt Nancy warmed me you'd say that."

"Before we make contact with the departed, be aware that all communications will be recorded and maybe used for training purposes."

"?"Psychoanalysis for Dummies"?

'Psst - my wife works part time for the IRS!'

"Perhaps a dirge would lift your spirits?"

In Tray Out Tray Suspicious Tray

Psychoses on tape

'I'm getting k-w-y-z-x-g-j-z-s-t-i-z-i-k-o-v...does anyone know a Kwyzxgizxtlzilov who's passed on recently?'

"She's asking did her bum look big in her shroud ?"

'I have stomach cramps.' - 'Oh.' - 'It feels like a cat raking its claws down the inside of my stomach.' - 'Oh.' - 'Raking in a good way or a bad way?' -

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