Spider Web Gifts

Spiders in love

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

Dinner at the Trapdoors

The Amazing Man-Spider

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

Extreme Bungy

Dr, Wagner's dental floss spider web made going to the dentist much more appealing to kids,

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

Child makes a toy and frightens himself.

"Sorry, Pal. Sometimes nature's not very pretty."

Idle parts

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

'I want you to bring me one.'

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

Want the wings as an appetizer?

Jackson Pollock the Spider

'Are we there yet?'

Spider's Web Trampoline

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

OMG UR HOT

'Looks like the soup comes with flies.'

allovertheplace.com

Spider Web Stocking

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

'Did spiders invent bungee jumping, Dad?'

"Please enter the last 4 digits of your SSN...or enter all 9. They're all over the dark web."

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

'He's already surfing without nappies!'

"Yes, you did close some of your tabs. However, you still have 1,894 open. You're a tab hoarder."

"Ooh don't stop Bob, the last time you ran your fingers through my hair like this was on our wedding night!"

Spider Press-Ups

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."