Spider Observation Gifts

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

Spider has thread with yo-yo at end

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Dinner at the Trapdoors

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

The Amazing Man-Spider

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

"Look, a bug!"

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

How about going easy on the carbs

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

So you're a mocking bird...

Bee flying to another flower.

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

"This is Blackjack, come in Yahtzee."

Extreme Bungy

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

Dr, Wagner's dental floss spider web made going to the dentist much more appealing to kids,

'I don't mind being caught,it's that kissing I hate.'

'Thanks, we really appreciate this. Yeah, the middle button. Don't worry, it's auto-focus - just aim and shoot.'

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

Child makes a toy and frightens himself.