Spider Skeptic Gifts

Robert the Bruce actually hated spiders.

"Normally, I make a tiny incision just below the naval. But I saw a spider."

"Scared of spiders! Is that it?"

The Amazing Man-Spider

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

Dinner at the Trapdoors

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

Extreme Bungy

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

Dr, Wagner's dental floss spider web made going to the dentist much more appealing to kids,

Child makes a toy and frightens himself.

"God works in mysterious ways."

Idle parts

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

'I want you to bring me one.'

Want the wings as an appetizer?

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

OMG UR HOT

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

'Are we there yet?'

Spider Web Stocking

Spider's Web Trampoline

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

'Did spiders invent bungee jumping, Dad?'

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

"Ooh don't stop Bob, the last time you ran your fingers through my hair like this was on our wedding night!"

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

'Rats, we've caught a dung beetle: They taste horrible...'

'The trick is to label straight away, otherwise I forget what I have in my larder...'

Spider watching his web cam.

'I'm just surfing the web.'