Spider Expert T-Shirts

'The cure for spider bites, John, is indoor plimbling.'

Dinner at the Trapdoors

The Amazing Man-Spider

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

Extreme Bungy

Child makes a toy and frightens himself.

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

'Our family has a dry sense of humor, and we don't laugh that much.'

Caliologist

Idle parts

'Aw,hunting season is a cleansing time. A time to forget about my worries...'

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

'Are we there yet?'

'I want you to bring me one.'

A boy and his spin patrol.

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

Spider's Web Trampoline

OMG UR HOT

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

Spider Web Stocking

'Did spiders invent bungee jumping, Dad?'

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

"Ooh don't stop Bob, the last time you ran your fingers through my hair like this was on our wedding night!"

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

Sportscasters on the Savannah

'Reserved' (presumably for little miss muffet)

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'