Speedy Surgeons Gifts

Surgeon on bike.

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

'All of our Little Doctor medical kits are on sale. Since the Healthcare bill passed, sales of the kits have been poor.'

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

"Last week on 'Top Surgeon' Erica won immunity, while Carl was sent home for killing his patient during routine gallbladder surgery."

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

No offense, Doctor, but I'm feeling kinda rushed.

"The good news is that you inherit Mr. Brumble's entire estate, Miss Finster. The bad news is that he owes an outstanding balance to your plastic surgeon!"

"It wasn't a carcinoma at all- it was just an itty-bitty attorney."

"Ok, let's go over this one more time, 'The Leg Bone's Connected To The. . .'"

'I guess I don't need to ask how your new hip is working out.'

Tommy John Surgery.

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

'And you all thought I didn't have a hobby.'

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

Nurse about surgeon juggling organs: 'I think Dr. Haywood could really use a sabbatical.'

"Breathe, darn it, breathe!"

Surgery / Canteen - The perplexities of priorites.

"I'm a dynamic pricing consultant."

"The pacemaker implant was fine. But you need to remember the password."

'You'll be glad to know your daughter's surgery went fine and she's awake and texting.'

We flushed your arteries, checked your fluids, and topped off your AB positive, but look at this kidney - When's the last time you had it replaced?

"Good news, Mrs. Bryant - I think we got it all."

"Oh. I know what that organ is! Wait, don't tell me."

"We lose a little dexterity, but we gain a lot of confidence."

'Spend all morning on a cryptorchidectomy...'

'Relax, the operation will be over in no time.'

'I say we just take out that squiggly green thing and see how he is tomorrow.'

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.

'We've recently adopted the full aviation model.'

"It's elective surgery. You'll have a better idea of what your chances are once I go over the poll results."

Take An Organ, Leave An Organ