Surgery Savvy Gifts

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

"The good news is that you inherit Mr. Brumble's entire estate, Miss Finster. The bad news is that he owes an outstanding balance to your plastic surgeon!"

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

"What should we do with this extra part?"

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

Cleaner with nameplate next to Consultant Surgeon's desk.

Anatomy.

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

'Well, I'll be...look at this...there's a song in his heart!'

'I know we're all terrified of malpractice suits, Bob, but as plastic surgeons, I think we can do a little more than just 'style his hair and call it a day.''hair

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

Anatomy.

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

He really puts his heart into it!

"Well, we saved this attorney. Some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin."

Surgery / Canteen - The perplexities of priorites.

"This time, Joe passes the gas, Sue cuts, Bob retracts and I grab the appendix... wait, better play... I pass the gas, Sue cuts, Lynne holds retractors, Bob grabs the appendix... wait........"