Spa Humorist Gifts

'Just think, I used to pay a spa $30 a month to hang me upside down in gravity inversion boots.'

Garra Fish Pedicure.

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

At the 2021 Religious Games

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

Downloading Pregnancy

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

What price beauty?

"Sorry, that's not my table."

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."