Sound Cue Enthusiast Gifts

'She always comes to my ringtone. It's the sound of a can opener.'

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

Don't you wish you worked in an office sometimes? No! Tree's Tree Nursery. There's nothing here to listen to. Are you kidding. Whoosh. Crack. Rustle. Thwump. Caw. Yes, but there's no ironic commentary. Are you kidding?

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'

'This one is very effective. It sounds just like a can opener.'

"That's O.K., Dad. I think I'll do with the ambient waterfall sounds tonight."

"Would you mind telling me why you keep hitting a scary-music sound bite every time you pick up your steak knife?"

Gettysburg Address, "Now can we have it as a sound bite ?"

The battle of the pianos.

Snooker.

"You don't need English on every shot."

Murdered man spells out his murderer in alphabet soup.

'Maybe if you make it smaller, put something soft on the end and come up with a better name than 'Cue-Tip'...'

"It varies, but offhand I'd say around 750 'bang-bangs' equal one 'boom'."

"Five ball in the corner pocket." "Me in the side pocket!"

"I hate it when they dress you with their eyes."

"Buster's coming out."

Two men attempt to use the same snooker cue.

'Ease up a bit on the cue ball.'

Sports Network. Rather than insert crowd sounds into the broadcast of no-spectator games, we should insert other sound effects. In football we can have a heavenly angels choir. Yeah, during a hail Mary pass play! In baseball we could insert a submarine commander's order to "dive." Of course, a home run is known as "going deep"! And in basketall there could be a bird's call followed by a big splash. When a player flies through the air and then dunks!

Shamisen

Snooker player with telescopic sight fitted to his cue.

"Everyone, welcome our new Vice President of Irritating Noises!"

Young and old man toast to different characteristic noises.

Earth/billiard ball

Air Billiards

Noise: An Overview.

"Nice try with the sound effects, dad, but you're still no mom!"

Elevator volume control.

A judge carries a horn instead of a gavel.

Pop. Crack! Snap! Creak! Every time I play tennis my body makes a racket!

A noisy drill annoys a statue.

"You said 'Let's shoot Paul!'"

"There's a sight you don't often see, a man attempting to clear the table."

"I've been masked so long I've forgotten - should the ends of my mouth move up or down when smiling?"