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"Ulrich, that's bad science and you know it!"

The sorcerers' fancy dress party was turning out to be a lot of old 'warlocks'!

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"It's probably just seasonal."

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'

'No worries Grizella, let me call my 'eye of newt' guy...'

Date Night

'I'll get back to you when I'm myself, Eddie.'

"What do you mean you're tired of AB negative?"

Medieval Office Supplies

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

'Because we're still part of society - that's why we have to go organic.'

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

'...tail of cat..tongue of toad and a good pinch of monosodium glutamate...'

"Your're mum's well wicked."

Eye of Newt Helper

"Eye of newt. . . wing of bat. . . hair of dog!"

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

'Well, since you put it like that, I suppose we could reduce the price of the property slightly.'

'Hmm, wrong bottle. I guess THIS one must've been the Elixir of Death...'

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

Magus

The Wizard.

'Her first telekinesis!'

"Out bending spoons at Pop's diner."

"I'm hexting."

'The Tooth Fairy left me dental floss and a pamphlet on proper brushing technique.'

The b**ching hour is here

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"My most recent position was under a house."

Speeding again, Margaret?