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The Wizard.

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

You do know it's Harry Potter who's real and JK Rowling is just one of his spells?

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

"Confounded spell checker... never catches anything."

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'We should e-mail this and point out that many of our victims were in key marginals...'

"Oh well, I'm off the see the orthopedist."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to defend their pail of water."

"Come with us to see the wizard. He can find you a brain!"

Scarecrow chasing Igor with a brain

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

'I get the feeling lately that some of the magic has gone out of our relationship.'

"Waaaahhh! I've oiled myself!"

"Right! It's a heart op, neurosurgery and counselling. And I'll have the Wiz"

'Why don't we try a renegotiated buyout offer before we go with the Plague of Rabid Bats thing.'

"I can't have the wart removed, I just got the Wicked Witch role in 'Wizard of Oz'."

"On our budget, I'm glad the Keebler Elves were available."

"A fire-breathing dragon represents the conflict you have with the Lord of the Manor."

'Stealth broom.'

'Empty your pockets and go through again.'

'It's exploded! The wizard warned him to break it in gently.'

"Ulrich, that's bad science and you know it!"

'I've never met such a heartless, gutless and brainless board of directors!'

"The magic's still there, but the sex is terrible."

'Well, since you put it like that, I suppose we could reduce the price of the property slightly.'

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'