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Speeding again, Margaret?

"I'm tired of using this broom all the time!" "Try using the car."

Cheeze Wiz.

"I said slime."

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

I wonder what kind of wizard or vampire my husband will be

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

A couple watch apprehensively as six witches fly around their gingerbread birdhouse

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

Meowlzebub

"Wow. . . Are you expecting or did you nibble on your gingerbread house again?"

'No sequel? No movie version? Just read me the big money makers like 'Harry Potter'.'

Fear of Flying Seminar

Witches at a cauldron.

Fairy tale

Happy New Ear!

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

"I know we're not supposed to invite them over the threshold dear, but it seemed awfully rude to leave him standing on the doorstep."

A portrait comes alive and stabs its artist

"By the way, does anything other than 'trouble' rhyme with 'bubble'?"

"I've thrown in some prescription drugs that don't interact well."

Halloween health & safety.

Witch's breakfast cereal makes the sound: 'Snap, Cackle, Pop.'

Tax reform magically transforming the U.S. economy.

"Hasn't this been the best first hundred days ever?"

"Eye of newt. . . wing of bat. . . hair of dog!"

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

Witchy Cellist

"Your're mum's well wicked."

"Ulrich, that's bad science and you know it!"

'Hmm, wrong bottle. I guess THIS one must've been the Elixir of Death...'