Sophisticated Foodie Gifts

“But I’m one of the cool ones!”

'Red or white wine with fish?' 'They're dead. They don't care.'

Domestic Goddess.

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

Civilized Salmon

"Regular service or affected?"

'Mom, the donut is drinking my milk!'

"...And would sir care to kill the rabbit himself?"

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

'What wine goes with enormous expense account?.'

'Therapy?'

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

Executive Tacos

'It had taken some time, but the finding of a spaghetti junction brought immense satisfaction.'

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

'Have you noticed how portions are getting bigger?'

"Wow, you've got to try this combination."

"Revelatory, Michael - such airy meatballs."

"If I'd wanted a Picasso I'd have gone to an art gallery, wouldn't I?"

“Here’s to the 240 bucks we’re paying the sitter.”

"Yes, you could have cooked it, but you didn't."

"They're boulettes de viande. They're meatballs. They're balls of meat."

"Do you want the rest of this mouse? It tastes gamey to me."

"I'll have the chef."

"No thanks. I had a cracker in April."

"This is a self-service diner. I cook the meals and I eat them myself."

The four major food groups.

Gentrification of the Fridge.

'I don't want to eat this. I want to eat organic foods.'